As I type this I am curled up in my bunk bed, listening to the Straight No Chaser station on Pandora, giggling about every little thing that happens, and watching as the rain pours down outside. I wish you could know exactly how joyful my heart is right now and how at peace I feel. What a difference in how I was feeling when I wrote my last post!! This has been a CRAZY few months and I know that Christ has remained constant through it all, but I am just so thankful that joy comes in the morning! Through one long talk in a little mini van, my whole outlook has changed. I feel like the real me. I am happy again!
I really feel like this has been one crazy season for me, but I am thankful. I feel like Christ has used this uncomfortable, hard environment to teach me how to rely on Him for my all. He has taught me how to submit to authority. He has shown me my MANY flaws and given me opportunities to work on changing my fleshly habits. He has shown me that I have an incredible support system that truly loves me and will constantly lift me up or send me letters on the days when I really need them. He has shown me that He will forever remain constant and that I can lean on that truth. I know that I am no where close to being who I need to be in Christ, but I also now know that this life is not about me and it truly doesn’t matter who I am or how I’m feeling. It’s all about glorifying Him in my every action and word. He doesn’t need me but He has chosen me. He knows my every single flaw but He loves me. He created me. He sent His own son to die a horrible death to save me. I am His child and nothing changes that fact. It’s not my job to make sure I am comfortable and not being mistreated. It’s not my job to save all of the lost people in Tahoe City or North Korea or Hurricane Mills. My job is to allow Christ to be Christ. Be obedient in all things. “Now if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory.” (Romans 8:17)
I will be in sitting in the Nashville airport in exactly one month. I am beyond excited about getting to spend Thanksgiving with my family this year, getting to celebrate Christmas with Meg and Jesse, and getting to see my best friends. In fact, I find myself daydreaming about it when I have a moment to sit and think. But I don’t want those joyful thoughts to consume me. I want to be fully here in Tahoe City until Christ allows me to move to my next location. I want to serve with everything in me no matter where I am. I never want to look back and regret how I spent the precious time that Christ allowed me to live among a certain people group.
Getting back into teaching this week was wonderful! The huge bear hugs that I got on Monday when I saw my students for the first time melted my heart. What a feeling! God gave me the opportunity to share His gospel on 4 different occasions this week and all I could do was stand in amazement at who He is and how He orchestrates and pieces things together. The lyrics to “I Stand Amazed in the Presence” come to mind. I am simply blown away by Him.
Thank you again for praying for me and the ministry here. The prayers are felt in a BIG way! “Prayer opens prison doors and preaching doors. Prayer binds the enemy and opens the heavens. Prayer is the plow that breaks up the fallow ground for the Gospel seed. Prayer ushers in the manifest glory of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.” Please keep praying! Greater things are still to be done in this city!
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.”
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
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