Learning to be Content

                      God has been teaching me how to be content in every situation. As I was reading through a book written by Elisabeth Elliot, God was showing me that I need to be content wherever He puts me if I am going to be a true servant. Over all things, I need to be content with Him. It doesn’t matter where I am. It doesn’t matter who is with me. It doesn’t matter what is going on in the world. All that matters is that He is Sovereign and that I remain content in Him. He is my joy and my strength if I allow Him to be. I can be way too critical of myself sometimes and I need to learn to just let things go. Let Him be who He is.


                  I got a book in the mail this week entitled Restricted Nations: North Korea. It is a book about the martyrs that have given their lives in order for the people of North Korea to come to know Christ, as well as the history of the spread of the gospel there. I am only able to read a few pages at a time because it overwhelms me with sadness. I feel so far away from where I was last summer. I want to be back with my students, hearing their stories and holding their hands. At the same time, I am trying to be content in Lake Tahoe, and realize that He has a plan. I can pray. I can alert other people to the truth of North Korea. I can wait until God says go. I have looked into becoming a spokesman for Voice of the Martyrs until I can finish up with the hours I need from seminary. It’s just a “Laura Plan”. “Laura Plan’s” never work out. I just like to have a goal to work towards, while always keeping in mind that Christ is in control and that He will lead me where He wants me.

                   I told my supervisor that I will not be staying on as staff. What a relief it has been to finally make that known! I have felt it in my gut, but I am so glad that that conversation has finally taken place. I feel like I can give this ministry my all now without over analyzing everything and wondering if I am supposed to stay. As I mentioned above, I have some “Laura Plans” but I am really excited about seeing where Christ takes me next. I will be moving home December 18th, and after that I’m kind of an open book. I know that I want to start up seminary so that I can get the hours I need to qualify to work with the IMB if God calls. I found a program through Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary that will allow me to get the 30 hours I need for a missions certificate and it all can be completed online. I’ve applied for this, so we shall see. I’m up for anything! Bring it on! Haha 


Other Things God is teaching/showing me:

                Developing the discipline of prayer- I am learning how to be constantly in prayer. I am learning that without this discipline I can not be completely in communion with Christ. I get to talk to the King! How cool is that? He wants me to talk with Him, but He also wants me to just sit and hush. He wants to show me His heart and tell me His plans. I am learning how difficult it is to have a constant prayer life in a place where I am constantly surrounded by people, but I am learning that this is real life. I want to be like those ladies at my church who I consider prayer warriors. I want to tell people “I’m praying for you” and actually mean that.


                Learning to change-God has shown me my big (and many) flaws. He has shown me that I am easily irritated by things, too critical of the “American dream/lifestyle”, crazy moody, and so many other things. It hurts to recognize flaws. It’s not a great experience by any stretch of the imagination. BUT I will never become Christ-like if these nasty human behaviors are not done away with. I want to be like Him, therefore, I will endure this pain. I may not endure it in the most graceful way and I may find myself complaining about it, but I am thankful that God loves me too much to let me stay the same. I tell my students daily that I love them too much to let them act ridiculous. I believe this is how Christ looks at me and my behavior.


              God is a healer, miracle worker. God is sovereign over all- I am currently reading through the gospel of Luke. What a powerful book! I find myself re-reading the same passage over and over because I am amazed at what Jesus has to say and the things He is capable of. But here’s my favorite part…. He is the same today! He is capable of so much, but we give Him credit for so little. He is capable of healing, forgiving, and showing mercy and grace, yet we try to do things on our own. I want to be able to have the faith needed to surrender every fiber of my being to Him. I want to believe that He is sovereign in the highs and the lows of this life. I want to run after Him because He’s the only one worth running for.

              I don’t have it all together- Only He does. How do I become meek and a gentle spirit? How do I become one who turns to Christ with questions and not to other people with complaints? I don’t want every conversation I have with other people to be a serious conversation about hardships, gossip, or complaints. I want to be joyful and be able to share Christ with people. May I be changed according to His gracious plan.

Favorite moment of the past week:
              This is what I get to hear when my students pray: “Dear Jeebus, Thank you for A+ and for all of the boys and girls and for Miss Laura being our teacher. Thank you, Jeebus, for dying on the cross and for making us free. I love you Jeebus. Amen” How can a heart not be overwhelmed when they hear that? I am amazed at what Christ is doing in the little lives that I get to spend time with each Monday-Friday.