God moves in the midst of all

This week has flown by just like all of the others. I currently have only 24 days in Tahoe before I get to go home for Thanksgiving and then 19 days here after that. For those of you who don’t know me extremely well, I am a counter. I count miles on super long road trips. I count how many hours I have left on long flights. I count how many days I have left in a location. I don’t do this to try to rush things. I am just trying to give myself motivation to push through, work hard, and enjoy the precious time that I am given in a place. One of the ways that I have always counted things down is through paper chains. I have a paper chain hanging beside me right now that helps me keep track of the time I have left here with my precious students. Inside of each link I have listed a Bible passage that I can use for that day to help me focus on Christ and His Kingdom vision. I wish I would have made a link for everyday that I have been here because it has been a true encouragement to me each day. I look forward to waking up every morning and seeing which verse or verses I get to focus on that day. I am learning the truth about the power of memorizing scripture and being able to carry it with me at all times. I of course don’t always turn to the Truth before I turn to fleshly ways of malice, envy and slander. I take 20 steps backwards until I feel God’s conviction. He is patient in dealing with me. He is teaching me things that I didn’t know that I needed to learn. What a gracious God we have the privilege to serve!

My time with my students this week was a blessing to my heart! We started the New Testament on Monday during our Bible study time and I was blown away by their knowledge of Christ and in their interest in learning more. Tuesday I told them the story of Jesus being born, but as soon as the story was over they raised their hands and reminded me that Jesus grew up to die on the cross and now is in Heaven looking over us. When we finish our story each day, they say “that’s it?” Every time one of my students prays, he says “thank you Jeebus for dying on the cross and for giving us freedom.” I love seeing what Christ is doing in these little lives. I love seeing them get excited when I ask them a question about the Bible and they know the answer. I love when they put 5 different Bible stories into one jumbled up mess because it just brings joy to my heart to know that they know about Jesus. I love chasing them on the playground as the “big scary bear” while they are screaming and laughing. I love when they ask if they can read to me, ask to sit on my lap, hug my neck, pick on me, and call me silly names. These kids have stolen my heart! I look forward to seeing them each and every day and I am so excited to see what God has in store for them in the future. (Isaiah 55:11)

This week proved to be a giant break through with Mrs. Anderson, the teacher who I volunteer with on Wednesday mornings. On Wednesday she was much more talkative than usual and was asking me all kinds of questions about my family and friends from back home and my trips overseas. As I told her about my heart for North Korea, she told me that she has always wanted to be able to help people who are less fortunate. This statement lead to us talking about who Christ is and how He is the one who is in control of all things. She had so many questions, but the kids came back from the computer lab and she had to leave. Please pray that God continues to work on her heart! On Thursday morning I was able to go see her class perform their Halloween skit. I wanted to see those sweet kids perform, but mostly I wanted to let Mrs. Anderson know that I truly care about her and I wanted to meet with parents. She hugged me 3 times in a 20 minute period! One of the goals here is to be a presence in the community so that people of all ages can come to know Christ. I believe that people in the community need to know that we are not just here as a business, but we are here to show them the love of Christ. This is a big task, but nothing is impossible with Him. He is capable of taking my sinful messes, and bringing glory to Himself. He wants to show the same mercy and grace to the people in Tahoe City that He has shown me.

Friday was a hard day for me, but I have never felt so much peace and joy while shaking at the exact same time. I am learning the truth in the statement “joy is not based on our circumstances”. I love watching God do big things when we are so uncomfortable and broken down. I hope that I can persevere in all things so that I can see Christ work in BIG ways. Words that people said about me this week hurt my little heart, but I would have missed out on seeing God do big things if I was trying to be selfish and tryin to fight back. I want to learn to handle all things in a way that glorifies my Father. I am getting practice here. Fellow believers can be so hurtful sometimes, but that’s not what matters in any way. All things should be about Christ.

Below I have listed some passages that have encouraged me, challenged me, and motivated me the last few days to keep persevering and working with a Kingdom vision. Thank you again for all of your prayers and support! I love you more than you will ever know!

“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” Proverbs 12:16

All of 1 Peter (This chapter and a few other passages in this list were brought to my attention by one of my dearest friends who I have been given the opportunity to get to know the last few months here in Tahoe. She is always quick to point me to Christ in all circumstances. What a blessing!)

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15:5-7 (The rest of the chapter has been used to convict me on so many different occasions.)

“Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.” 2 Timothy 2:14-16

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17 (This passage was brought to mind by one of my best friends from back home. God orchestrated some beautiful friendships for me to enjoy! What a blessing!)

“I heard and my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the sound; decay crept into my bones, and my legs trembled. Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity to come on the nation invading us. Though the gif tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go to the heights.” Habakkuk 3:16-19

“I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corner I called you. I said ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have no rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” Isaiah 41:9-13

“This is what God the LORD says- he who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it: I , the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.” Isaiah 42:5-7

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:8-11

“Everything is permissible”- but not everything is beneficial. “Everyone is permissible”- but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.” 1 Corinthians 10:23-24

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen in eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

“He made the earth by his power; he founded the world by his wisdom and stretched out the heavens by his understanding. When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar; he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth. He sends lightning with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses.” Jeremiah 51:15-16

“I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27

This is Mrs. Anderson. Please pray for her salvation!

This is some of my crazy students :) Love them so much!

This is "Chick Magnet". He likes to rub his head against me like a cat and get right in my face, but he has the sweetest little heart.

This is Harkin. He is a preschool student who might be a little bit confused on whether he is male or female. Check the shoes. Wish I had a picture of his halloween costume or all of the bows he wears. Silly boy!

This is Jake. Jake has good days and bad days, but is just another kid who needs to know the love of Christ!

This is the Kindergarten class at A+.  Such a fun group!!

This little blonde headed boy stole my heart in just a few minutes. He is 5 but talks like a 30 year-old. My heart broke when I had to leave him last night as he was crying. Sad times :(

This is my sweet little one who always thanks Jeebus for dying to give us freedom. I pray that God always holds him in His hands.

Mrs. Anderson's class that I get to work with each Wednesday morning. Precious babies!

 

A Time for Everything

As I type this I am curled up in my bunk bed, listening to the Straight No Chaser station on Pandora, giggling about every little thing that happens, and watching as the rain pours down outside. I wish you could know exactly how joyful my heart is right now and how at peace I feel. What a difference in how I was feeling when I wrote my last post!! This has been a CRAZY few months and I know that Christ has remained constant through it all, but I am just so thankful that joy comes in the morning! Through one long talk in a little mini van, my whole outlook has changed. I feel like the real me. I am happy again!

I really feel like this has been one crazy season for me, but I am thankful. I feel like Christ has used this uncomfortable, hard environment to teach me how to rely on Him for my all. He has taught me how to submit to authority. He has shown me my MANY flaws and given me opportunities to work on changing my fleshly habits. He has shown me that I have an incredible support system that truly loves me and will constantly lift me up or send me letters on the days when I really need them. He has shown me that He will forever remain constant and that I can lean on that truth. I know that I am no where close to being who I need to be in Christ, but I also now know that this life is not about me and it truly doesn’t matter who I am or how I’m feeling. It’s all about glorifying Him in my every action and word. He doesn’t need me but He has chosen me. He knows my every single flaw but He loves me. He created me. He sent His own son to die a horrible death to save me. I am His child and nothing changes that fact. It’s not my job to make sure I am comfortable and not being mistreated. It’s not my job to save all of the lost people in Tahoe City or North Korea or Hurricane Mills. My job is to allow Christ to be Christ. Be obedient in all things. “Now if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory.” (Romans 8:17)

I will be in sitting in the Nashville airport in exactly one month. I am beyond excited about getting to spend Thanksgiving with my family this year, getting to celebrate Christmas with Meg and Jesse, and getting to see my best friends. In fact, I find myself daydreaming about it when I have a moment to sit and think. But I don’t want those joyful thoughts to consume me. I want to be fully here in Tahoe City until Christ allows me to move to my next location. I want to serve with everything in me no matter where I am. I never want to look back and regret how I spent the precious time that Christ allowed me to live among a certain people group.

Getting back into teaching this week was wonderful! The huge bear hugs that I got on Monday when I saw my students for the first time melted my heart. What a feeling! God gave me the opportunity to share His gospel on 4 different occasions this week and all I could do was stand in amazement at who He is and how He orchestrates and pieces things together. The lyrics to “I Stand Amazed in the Presence” come to mind. I am simply blown away by Him.

Thank you again for praying for me and the ministry here. The prayers are felt in a BIG way! “Prayer opens prison doors and preaching doors. Prayer binds the enemy and opens the heavens. Prayer is the plow that breaks up the fallow ground for the Gospel seed. Prayer ushers in the manifest glory of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.” Please keep praying! Greater things are still to be done in this city!

“There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.”

- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Half-Way

*I am just stating for the record that I try to be open and honest in these posts. I never want to offend anyone.I am simply trying to speak my true feelings on things so that my prayer supporters can know how to pray for me

“Don’t ever give up on or discount anything that Jesus was willing to die for”

               2 months and 2 days ago I boarded a plane and flew across the country to Reno, Nevada to meet the people that would become my family for a semester. I was super excited and super nervous! I had no idea what God had in store for me in Lake Tahoe, CA but I knew that I could trust that He would hold my hand the whole journey, just like He always has. This has been a crazy journey and I would not have made it to this half-way point without clinging to the feet of Christ. I have learned so much in 2 months and I am thankful that I have been faced with some of the hardest days of my life. Lake Tahoe is gorgeous and I know people would LOVE to be living this close to a place of such beauty, but I have learned that just because a place is beautiful does not mean that it is an “easy” place to live, work, and minister. I learned that when I served at the Grand Canyon and I am re-experiencing that here. Sin is rampant in both places and the need for Christ is great in both places.

My goals here in Tahoe are:

1. Tell young children about the love of Christ and get them and their families involved in an active body of believers. This goal is to be accomplished by teaching a rough and rowdy bunch of 1st and 2nd graders in an after-school program and by loving on their families. I try my hardest to always speak with the parents when they come in and I also try to make sure that my students have something to take home with them to remind them to tell their families about our Bible story. Only two of my 22 students have ever attended church. One of my students is autistic, one of my students has two mommies, 3 of my boys have ADHD, one of my sets of twins cry about absolutely everything, 6 of my students go to a school where they are only learning Spanish, and most of the girls cat fight constantly and act like they hate each other. I LOVE these kids and would not want a different class for anything! They are teaching me how to love with the love of Christ, speak with the voice of Christ, and see with the eyes of Christ. It’s a beautiful mess every single day!

2. Become an active voice in the community and be intentionally relational with people so that they can come to know Christ as their savior. This goal is accomplished by volunteering in a Kindergarten classroom at the local public school, meeting with people at a community Bible study, watching children during Mom’s Morning Out and Parent’s Night Out programs, baby sitting, house sitting, pet sitting, and cleaning houses. I have also found that one of the best places to witness to people is inside the doctor’s office when I get one of my usual rounds of sickness. I have been to the local doctor’s office on 4 different occasions and each time God has opened doors for ministry.

As you can see, we stay really busy here. The hardest thing for me to get used to has been that I am required to spend most of my day cleaning a building and then such a short amount of time is spent on these goals. I have been told that having a clean building is a reflection of Christ and I am trying to swallow this fully, but most days I would much rather spend more time on a ministry that I feel might be more beneficial to the Kingdom.(Please know that I am not saying that cleaning, paying bills, and the other not-so-fun but absolutely necessary things are not a part of ministry. These are a part of our lives and I recognize that! I am simply saying that I would like to spend as little time on these things as possible so that more time can be spent on building relations with people in the community and in our school.) I am not in charge of this ministry and therefore, I do as I am told. That has been a big lesson for me to learn. I’m opinionated and analytical, but God has put two ladies in charge of me that I don’t always agree with or feel love from. It is my job as a servant of Christ to do as these ladies say and rely on Christ for love and encouragement. I will not lie and say that this has been easy. I will say that God is teaching me how to be a true servant and that this lesson gets just a little bit easier each time I am willing to swallow my pride and do as I have been asked. I have been reading through the New Testament these last 2 months and I have been challenged over and over again to build a Biblical community wherever I am. I do not want to be a part of the problem in the church. I want to do as Christ has asked me to and build up my fellow believers. Building up a true Biblical community is not necessarily one of the “goals” here in Tahoe, but I believe it should be. We should all swallow our pride, control our tongues, serve one another in love, and build one another up. What a huge task that totally goes against our flesh nature! It’s a good thing as believers we are called to crucify our flesh right?!

The other day I was asked by my supervisor why I am here in Tahoe. My answer was and is Mrs. Anderson. Mrs. Anderson is the lead teacher in a kindergarten classroom at a local elementary school. She is a mean, cynical lady who needs to know the peace and love of Christ. I love her despite the fact that she feels the need to cuss about everything and despite her desire to break down her fellow teachers. She is living with no hope! What else should I expect? I volunteer in her classroom every Wednesday morning from 8:30-11:15am and I have been amazed at the conversations that God has ordained in such a short amount of time. The very first day I met her, I learned that she has never been to a church before and that she doesn’t understand the “Christian culture” as she called it. She also doesn’t understand why I would leave my family to come to Tahoe. What an open door! She now knows where I stand and why I believe being in a local body of believers is so important. She also knows that I would love for her to come and sit beside me on a Sunday morning. What she doesn’t know is that she is a sinner that will die and go to Hell if she does not come to know Christ. Please pray that this conversation comes in God’s timing! Please pray that she comes to know Christ and that she can finally have joy in her life. Please pray that she will have the strength to stand against everything this culture teaches and will surrender her life to Christ.

This adventure has been nothing like I expected or planned for. I expected to teach all day every day and to work at the church on Sunday’s. I did not expect to become a professional cleaner, baby sitter or dog walker. I did not expect to butt heads with my supervisors. I did not expect to face culture shock. I did not expect to get sick and have to spend so much of my time in a doctor’s office or laying in bed. I did not expect to have to deal with the loss of 13 people the last few months or the grief that comes along with that. I also did not expect to meet a grumpy old lady and long to see her come to know Christ, have a giant break through with a child who has autism, laugh until my belly hurts when my students tell me jokes that aren’t even funny, baby sit a kid who will only let me hold him when his mom drops him off, be reminded of the glory and power of Christ just by looking at a lake, or have my eyes opened to the need for homeless ministries. I am amazed at what Christ has in store if we will just hang on long enough to see it! He is Sovereign and able to be trusted. His plans are greater than our greatest plans!

Just another reminder of God's creative power... What a mighty God we get to serve!

Celebrating one of our church member's Birthday

Can't get over this!

This is "screaming baby". His name is Jack and he is the sweetest little one in the world... He just screams a lot when his family drops him off at the church. I have had the privelage of baby-sitting him and so we have bonded and now he loves me. What a blessing! His family also asked me to house/pet sit for them for 10 days. Another mighty big blessing!!

This is part of my class. Love love love them!

Wouldn't trade these sweet babies for anything!

Tucker. I have no words to explain how precious this wild little boy is!

No matter the country, no matter the age.... There will always be time to dance in Miss Laura's class!

Trying to fit in with the other northern California tree huggers! :)

Powerful Lyrics

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QYYmv5AJOM

The above link will take you to listen to a song that brings me before the feet of Christ. It's powerful. Check it out. Here are the lyrics:

"If this Life has anything to gain at all

I count it lost if I can’t hear you, feel you, ’cause I need you.
Can’t Walk this Earth Alone.
I recognize I am not my own, so before I fall
I need to hear you, feel you, as I live to make my boasting you alone.

Verse 1:
With every breath I take, with every heart beat,
Sunrise and the moon lights in the dark street.
Every glance, every dance, every note of a song.
It’s all a gift undeserved that I shouldn’t have known.
Every day that I lie, every moment I covet
I’m deserving to die, I’m just earning your judgment.
I, without the cross there’s only condemnation.
If Jesus wasn’t executed there’s no celebration.
So in times that are good, in times that are bad
For any times that I’ve had it all I will be glad.
and I will boast in the cross. I boast in my pains.
I will boast in the sonshine, boast in his reign.
What’s my life if it’s not praising you.
Another dollar in my bank account of vain pursuit. I do.
That count my life as any value or presence at all.
Let me finish my race, let me answer my call.


Verse 2:
Tomorrow’s never promised, but it is we swear.
Think we holding our own, just a fist full of air.
God has never been obligated to give us life.
If we fall for our rights, we be in hell tonight.
Mere sinners own nothing but a fierce hand.
We never loved him we pushed away his pierced hands.
I rejected his love, grace, kindness, and mercy.
Dying of thirst, yet, willing to die thirsty.
Eternally worthy, how could I live for less?
Patiently you turn my heart away from selfishness.
I volunteer for your sanctifying surgery.
I know the spirits purging me of everything that’s hurting me.
Remove the vale from my darkened eyes.
So now every morning I open your word and see the Son rise.
I hope in nothin, boast in nothin, only in your suffering.
I live to show your glory, dying to tell your story.

Bridge:
Glory was solely meant for you.
Doing what no one else could do.
With All I have to give,(With all I have to Give)
I’ll use my life, I’ll use my lips. (My Lips Yaaa)
I’ll only glory in your Word. What gift to me I don’t deserve.
I’ll live in such a way that it reflects to you, my Praise.

Taking a step back

What a week! I will soon hit the half-way point in the semester and I am amazed at how quickly most days fly by, but then there are those days that seem to drag on and on. I have NEVER felt this way in a place where I served. The first 2 weeks or so are usually hard in getting acquainted with a new culture but then I always get to the point where I can see myself living there long-term. Not here. Please don’t misunderstand me. I LOVE teaching my students! I really wish everyone had the privilege of getting to know these kids better. They are so loud and crazy, but they listen during our Bible stories, they ask me questions, they give the best hugs and make me laugh until it hurts, and when they pray my whole heart just cries out with joy. I love my team! I have been blessed in the past with some teams that really learned how to work together and deal with each others differences in a way that glorifies God and I believe our team here is doing the same thing. We all have our days when we would rather stay in bed or just have our space but overall I believe that we all gel together wonderfully. It truly is a beautiful blessing! I am falling in love with the families that I have gotten to know by babysitting for them in the evenings and the weekends. I am really starting to connect with some people from our local body of believers and I am really enjoying getting to volunteer in a public school on Wednesday mornings so that I can get to know the lead teacher who needs to meet Jesus. Those are the things that make my time here seem “worth it”, but of course that is looking through the eyes of Laura Sewell and not the eyes of Christ! Who am I to judge?? I have no idea what He is doing here in the lives of the people. I can only know what’s going on inside this heart of mine. I believe that Christ is pulling me closer and closer to Him each day because I can not rely on myself or my best friends or my family here. I have to rely on Him to get me through. I am learning to pray and ask God to help me do all things and respond to all things in a way that that glorifies Him even when I am asked to do things that I might not agree with. I am learning to pray and ask God to give me true joy when I spend the majority of my time cleaning a building. I am learning to rely on Christ for all of the encouragement I need and for a moldable spirit when I feel like I can do nothing right. I am learning that it’s not about pleasing people (because that can be impossible at times) but it’s about pleasing Christ, living a life that’s totally surrendered to Him. It’s not always easy to turn directly to Christ at all times. I have not had to learn these lessons at home because I was not in an environment when I had no one else. I am thankful for this. I believe that if I can not remain faithful to Christ while serving in Lake Tahoe, then I will not remain faithful to Him if/when He calls me to North Korea or wherever in the world He wants me. I want to be able to say “Thank you Lord” when my stomach hurts from laughing with my students, when I am mopping a floor, cleaning the walls of the bathrooms, cleaning people’s houses, having a dance party with sweet kids, laying in bed listening to my wonderful team make fun of each other and talking about our days, visiting people in their homes, trying to figure out peoples love languages, getting reprimanded for things, teaching Sunday School, sitting and looking at the most incredible sunrise, and reading letters from and talking to the best support system any girl could ask for. I want God to be glorified in all. This is the season when I am seeing just a glimpse into what this looks like. I mess up a whole lot. I’m still moody. The beautiful thing is that I am daughter of The King and He loves me and is teaching me each day how to be more like Him. I have a reason to sing and a reason to worship. In every season!




“Don’t ever give up on or discount anything that Jesus was willing to die for”

A few new pics

This only proves how wonderful my precious family is :) I LOVE this!

Big ol' bear that decided to visit us at school. Of course we took all the students out to see it! :)

My favorite place in Tahoe thus far

ROAD TRIP!!! Great day with some great big trees!

Learning to be Content

                      God has been teaching me how to be content in every situation. As I was reading through a book written by Elisabeth Elliot, God was showing me that I need to be content wherever He puts me if I am going to be a true servant. Over all things, I need to be content with Him. It doesn’t matter where I am. It doesn’t matter who is with me. It doesn’t matter what is going on in the world. All that matters is that He is Sovereign and that I remain content in Him. He is my joy and my strength if I allow Him to be. I can be way too critical of myself sometimes and I need to learn to just let things go. Let Him be who He is.


                  I got a book in the mail this week entitled Restricted Nations: North Korea. It is a book about the martyrs that have given their lives in order for the people of North Korea to come to know Christ, as well as the history of the spread of the gospel there. I am only able to read a few pages at a time because it overwhelms me with sadness. I feel so far away from where I was last summer. I want to be back with my students, hearing their stories and holding their hands. At the same time, I am trying to be content in Lake Tahoe, and realize that He has a plan. I can pray. I can alert other people to the truth of North Korea. I can wait until God says go. I have looked into becoming a spokesman for Voice of the Martyrs until I can finish up with the hours I need from seminary. It’s just a “Laura Plan”. “Laura Plan’s” never work out. I just like to have a goal to work towards, while always keeping in mind that Christ is in control and that He will lead me where He wants me.

                   I told my supervisor that I will not be staying on as staff. What a relief it has been to finally make that known! I have felt it in my gut, but I am so glad that that conversation has finally taken place. I feel like I can give this ministry my all now without over analyzing everything and wondering if I am supposed to stay. As I mentioned above, I have some “Laura Plans” but I am really excited about seeing where Christ takes me next. I will be moving home December 18th, and after that I’m kind of an open book. I know that I want to start up seminary so that I can get the hours I need to qualify to work with the IMB if God calls. I found a program through Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary that will allow me to get the 30 hours I need for a missions certificate and it all can be completed online. I’ve applied for this, so we shall see. I’m up for anything! Bring it on! Haha 


Other Things God is teaching/showing me:

                Developing the discipline of prayer- I am learning how to be constantly in prayer. I am learning that without this discipline I can not be completely in communion with Christ. I get to talk to the King! How cool is that? He wants me to talk with Him, but He also wants me to just sit and hush. He wants to show me His heart and tell me His plans. I am learning how difficult it is to have a constant prayer life in a place where I am constantly surrounded by people, but I am learning that this is real life. I want to be like those ladies at my church who I consider prayer warriors. I want to tell people “I’m praying for you” and actually mean that.


                Learning to change-God has shown me my big (and many) flaws. He has shown me that I am easily irritated by things, too critical of the “American dream/lifestyle”, crazy moody, and so many other things. It hurts to recognize flaws. It’s not a great experience by any stretch of the imagination. BUT I will never become Christ-like if these nasty human behaviors are not done away with. I want to be like Him, therefore, I will endure this pain. I may not endure it in the most graceful way and I may find myself complaining about it, but I am thankful that God loves me too much to let me stay the same. I tell my students daily that I love them too much to let them act ridiculous. I believe this is how Christ looks at me and my behavior.


              God is a healer, miracle worker. God is sovereign over all- I am currently reading through the gospel of Luke. What a powerful book! I find myself re-reading the same passage over and over because I am amazed at what Jesus has to say and the things He is capable of. But here’s my favorite part…. He is the same today! He is capable of so much, but we give Him credit for so little. He is capable of healing, forgiving, and showing mercy and grace, yet we try to do things on our own. I want to be able to have the faith needed to surrender every fiber of my being to Him. I want to believe that He is sovereign in the highs and the lows of this life. I want to run after Him because He’s the only one worth running for.

              I don’t have it all together- Only He does. How do I become meek and a gentle spirit? How do I become one who turns to Christ with questions and not to other people with complaints? I don’t want every conversation I have with other people to be a serious conversation about hardships, gossip, or complaints. I want to be joyful and be able to share Christ with people. May I be changed according to His gracious plan.

Favorite moment of the past week:
              This is what I get to hear when my students pray: “Dear Jeebus, Thank you for A+ and for all of the boys and girls and for Miss Laura being our teacher. Thank you, Jeebus, for dying on the cross and for making us free. I love you Jeebus. Amen” How can a heart not be overwhelmed when they hear that? I am amazed at what Christ is doing in the little lives that I get to spend time with each Monday-Friday.