Suffering and Perseverance

Romans Chapter 5 is entitled “Peace and Joy” in my Bible. I encourage you to go grab your Bible right now and read that chapter. To me it is both a challenge for us to persevere and to rejoice in suffering, as well as an encouraging reminder that we have been justified by faith and we can find peace in Christ! Two of the verses that have always stuck out to me in this passage are verses 3-4 which say: “…we also rejoice in our suffering because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope.” We not only endure, but we rejoice while we are suffering. This produces the ability to persevere, which produces character and hope. Who doesn’t long to have hope? What believer doesn’t long to have character, a godly character? Who doesn’t long to be able to persevere in all things? All of this starts with rejoicing in suffering. Ok, great to know right? Now, what does that look like in our everyday lives? I am learning that it’s great to know what God can do, that people are praying for me, what the Bible says, but the hard part in my life if figuring out how to translate that into the daily grind. I don’t have any answers. I’m trying to cling onto Christ each day and rely on Him for everything. I am trying to learn what it looks like to have joy at all times, to let the joy of the Lord be my strength. I want to know what it means and looks like to persevere, to have character, and hope.

More lessons learned

"Everywhere is the sorrow and the pain of empty living, you can see it, look in their eyes all the hopelessness of the world but look closer He is right there in the midst of every fear"

-"The River" by Meredith Andrews

For your nearness Lord I hunger

For your nearness Lord I wait

Hold me ever closer Father

Such a love I can't escape

For your nearness I am hoping

For your nearness Lord I long

Have no need of any other

I have found where I belong

Yes, I have found where I belong

So draw me nearer Lord

Never let me go

Closer to your heart

Draw me nearer Lord

Draw me nearer Lord

In your nearness there is healing

What was broken now made whole

Restoration in its fullness

Lasting hope for all who come

In your nearness I take shelter

Where you are is where I'm home

I have need of only one thing

To be here before your throne

- "Draw me Nearer" by Meredith Andrews

I am on a Meredith Andrew kick if you couldn't tell! :) The lyrics to these songs are so powerful and so beautiful! (I have also fallen in love with the new Sara Bareilles CD! Soo good!)

I am still in bed recovering from the nasty virus I picked up last week, but I am thankful that God has given me this time. I have been able to write letters to people that I have wanted to write for weeks. I have looked at old pictures and remembered that I have a REALLY awesome support system back home. I have thought back to awesome memories with the many people that have passed away this summer. I needed this time to sit still and be quiet before the King. (For once, I am thankful that Megan picked my bunk as the one that is behind the TV because I am not wasting precious time! :)) I have been able to grow closer to God through a time of sickness, being far from home, and struggling to remember my purpose.
I woke up yesterday and I was struggling with feeling like a leper. You know how much I rely on relationships with people and for me to be stuck in a bed for 4 days straight is an absolute nightmare. I have been so frustrated. I know no one wants to get sick and I know that it is for my own good and the good of everyone at A+ that I stay in bed, but it is so hard! Here is what God has taught me: Jesus always ministered to the outcasts, sick, and hurting. He never shied away or went the other way! He met them where they were and ministered to them. So, He is doing the same for me. He is holding my hand and sitting in my bed with me the way I wish my mama, Sadie Grace, Miss Molly and my precious friends could do right now. He is talking to me and letting me ask Him hard questions. He is teaching me that He is all I need and that I can always count on Him... no matter what's going on in the world or how sick I get. What a great God!!! I am learning that He is in control and is too Sovereign to allow me, the mess of a human that I am, to mess up His plans. I will sit and wait for Him. In the mean time, I will serve like I know how. Love like I know how. Encourage like I know how. He will pick me up and move me when He sees fit. He will put people in my life when He see fit. He will take people Home when He sees fit. I am the servant and He is the master. Why do I keep trying to control everything?? There's peace in knowing that I can do nothing at all without Him!

One Month

I have lived in Tahoe City, CA for one month from this coming Tuesday... Its hard to believe how fast time is moving!!
Right now I am laying in bed, where I have been since Friday night, thanks to my nasty kids and their flu germs. I am feeling much much MUCH better than I did yesterday at this time. Something about being so far away from home and running a 101 fever that just brings a person down. But I'm back to thinking clearly (well clear for me :]) and I am hoping to feel perfect by tomorrow morning!
This month has been a crazy little roller coaster ride, but here is what I have learned: life on Earth is a roller coaster!! I don't know why it's taken me this long to figure it out, but whatever. I am clinging on to Christ and allowing Him to be my ultimate comfort and peace. It's not easy.... But I am trying!
My pastor's wife passed away 2 weeks ago from tomorrow. The Chi Alpha leader from my freshman year passed away a week ago from tomorrow. Add that to all of the deaths that have happened this summer and you are left with a question that goes something like "what is going on in the world???" I had a nightmare the other night where I was screaming for my aunt to save people but everyone just kept dying.... Intense to say the very least! The tossing/turning/nightmares continued until this really wonderful and wise friend of mine told me to read 1 Kings 19... I wept when I read it because it hit me like a ton of bricks. I still can not put into words all that God said to me through those words, but I have peace. I can rest. I am His and He loves me and He's got it all under control.
So I was offered a position here in Tahoe that would keep me here for awhile. I ask for your prayers on this matter! I never, ever want to make a decision based on feelings or my own thought process... I want to be where God wants me to be.
I have learned sooo much the last month, but I am having a hard time thinking clearly right now... Maybe its the nyquil! :( I will post again asap!
Thank you for all of the prayers and support!!! For those of you who have sent letters, you will never know how much they mean!! :)